We live in Portland, the beer is plentiful. Life is good.

Really, just when you think you can’t be surprised again in 1 week, I walk my f’in Martin guitar into a table corner and crack the body.

What’s next you may ask? Maybe cancer, that would actually surprise me

Today Jane received an email from her boss (owner of the company) that she will be removed from full time status with benefits to part time contract with no benefits. She could continue her benefits if she wants but she will have to pay for it all (while six months pregnant).

My first reacion of course was that this can’t be possible considering that her boss is #1 a mother of two young kids and #2 that laying off a pregnant woman is not exactly legal.

After talking to a few people, one of them experienced in employment law and reading a couple hours online, this *heartless …. refraining from going on* person better have a darn good reason.

Basically, Jane’s company has to be running out of work to validate laying off a perfectly competant worker. The worse part is we don’t really know what Jane’s status is now which makes it difficult to know her rights. We find out tomorrow what exactly is going on but it is really difficult to stay positive.

Our number one priority is to keep Jane on insurance, her old plan or COBRA. Our number two priority is to have Jane hold it together while talking with said *heartless* boss and keeping her cool. We are hoping for some compassion in maybe letting Jane work full time until the due date. We just need that insurance. We can figure out what to do having her unemployed. Hell, even unemployment would be nice right now but we feel trapped because we want to make sure Jane stays eligible for unemployment.

The reason most of this sounds fishy is the obvious fact that Jane is 6 months pregnant and that she is the only full time employee to get her status revoked. Another fact we have is that business has actually picked up, she asked the general manager yesterday. Her contract coworker also got demoted but not layed off. If there isn’t as much work, why keep on a temporary contract worker and also demote a salaried employee? The math doesn’t add up.

Know any good lawyers?

We will figure it out. Luckily my job(s) seems to be picking up and is going strong. Unfortunately there is that one small annoying fact of life called being insured.

We like to cook. Probably not as much as some of my friends but Jane and I like to fatten our quiver of satiary ammo about twice a year. Recently, we plopped in Larb.

After cooking it twice in less than a week, it is a fabulous dish to make, and easy. Ask me how!

Larb

Basically, it is a beef salad although you can use chicken, pork and that peculiar block of soft stuff that often eludes me, tofu.

I have never shared a recipe before so here it goes:

Get a nice cut of high quality beef (we tried pork but beef was twice as good and boils softer). Maybe about a pound. Since its a salad (which I have a slight neurosis about) you don’t need that much beef.

I haven’t tried chicken yet but I will most likely give a run next week.

• Marinade very thinly sliced (or ground) beef in lime juice for about an hour. Crush some garlic into the marinade. The longer you marinade the longer the lime will actually cook your meat so watch out! This means you can boil it less.
• Over medium heat, toast raw jasmine rice. About 1/4 cup. Stir constantly. Once toasty, ground those kernels but make sure to let them cool, I almost melted my plastic dish doing this. Their cute looks are deceiving, don’t pop one into your mouth right after toasting or you will end up with a place to start a tongue ring.
• Thinly dice or juliane the following and throw into a salad bowl:
  Kaffir leaves. (a.k.a lime leaves)
  Fresh ginger
  Shallots
  Mint leaves
  Thai chillies. You likey hot? Throw in summa mo! That was totally un-p.c. but I don’t care, our blog       isn’t advertised to the public
• Now, put in about 5 to 6 tablespoons of fish sauce.
• Squeeze 1 nice soft and plump lime on top of the mixture.
• For only 3 to 4 minutes, boil the beef in beef broth. It toughens up really quick so beware.
• Toss everything together after the beef has had a chance to cool a little bit. I like mine cold. Like my women. Just kidding.
• Put mixture over a bed of greens (serves 2)
• Finally sprinkle the toasted rice over the top and sprinkle palm sugar as well. The more you put, the crunchier it gets which is kind of cool, creates this sweet sour, crunchy type salad.

In Utero

5 days away from Q2 taxes, this has been a productive first half of 2009. We pretty much did everything under the category of domestication minus getting a dog or wearing a cowbell. And I still want that damn dog, so 2009 might be the year of the dog, the house, the marriage, and the monkey (baby). I am still waiting to hear if it will also be the year of the new job.

Why not? What is just one more layer of responsibility before getting acclimated enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  At least I will have a dog in the tunnel to keep me company. I kind of like being in the tunnel, the newness feeling, I can get used to this! All you naysayers who are probably thinking “Dude, don’t take on so much in one year.” or “Bro, take ‘er easy!”, you can just take your negativity and go back to negativille. I’m going to keep on living in my ignorance tunnel.

It has been a while since I have written a blog as you can tell, I am starting to sound like a jackass.

At 20 weeks Jane is still cute as a bell.

I was just told that my pregnant wife (the Jane part of the Jeff and Jane blog) shouldn’t handle cats and definitely not handle the cat litter. Well Jane wouldn’t handle the cat litter anyway, even way before she got pregnant so I guess we are good there. I am guessing by 2100, doctors (mainly television ones who need a story) will start recommending against having sex while pregnant. While some guys would probably not have a problem with this, it will lead to kids addicted to porn. You heard it here first.

I realize family reads this blog so I apologize for being, well, crass. Just shake your head at me, I have set my blog preferences to allow it in the form of comments.

To add to the fun this half of the year, Jane was awesome enough to let me spend some money and pick up another hobby. After a 4 week course, two days a week, and a nearly 5% visibility weekend, I got certified for scuba diving. There are actually a bunch of diving spots near Portland, who knew! This is something I have always wanted to do.

Certification Weekend

I have to give it to Jane for joining us (Rob and Amy, the crazies at Aquatic Sports) on certficiation weekend in Hoodsport WA, and most importlantly, braving the Sunset Motel. This place was basically a roadstop for tired truckers and other oddities. We had the opportunity to stay there during ‘Singles Weekend’ which consisted of a handful of blue hairs and other Hoodsport singles. Fortunately, none of us were single because I don’t know how I would have held back.

That said, and with 6 feet of visibility most of the time, I loved it and can’t wait to dive sans instructor. And mostly, can’t wait to dive with Jane once she gets certified at the totally hip Sunset Motel.

Doesn’t reading the news scare the poop out of you? It does to me. I frequently change my underwear.

Today I read that Boeing planned on laying off 10k workers. First off, this goes against every saying, cliche, history lesson etc that says war creates jobs. So what is going on? Boeing got a little too trigger happy with their xmas bonuses? Isn’t Boeing the leading contractor with the US goverment for war machines, aeroplanes, microwaves, george foreman grill machines etc? And on to the real reason I wanted to blog. Beeeeelog

Aside from freaking out from the current headlines, life has been pretty exciting for Jane and I. I blog for us. The collective we. The mafia of me and her. Jeffreneatte. Ohhhhhhh 

Tomorrow we sign the papers to become owners to a beautiful 100 year old home two blocks from the Portland mississippi district. 4:30 actually is the time. But I won’t get my hopes up, anything can happen really. 

So far the road bumps have been thus:

1. Convincing the ex that buying him out is a good idea.
2. Deal with some weird debt issues.
3. Work with a loan officer during the what seems like the busiest time of history.
4. finally meet the appraisier 2 weeks into a 30 day window.
5. finally get the appraisers APPRAISEL over a week later.
6. struggle 4 to 5 days before the lock in prediod closes to get what the loan officer needs. (why not tell us weeks before what we need to get you?)
7. furisously scan divorce papers, title transfers, tax returns, blah blah blah
8. Jane drive to victoria secrets to give them 92 cents in order to prove your balance is zero. Or more realistically +.92

On a little workbreak (which usually means minimizing Photoshop or Flash) I pulled up news.google.com:

“AT&T Eliminates 4% of its Workforce”

This of course was read after GM claims it will collapse unless bailed out by our bottomless federal reserve, or so it seems. What the hell is going on? Why do I read the news, I just get all upset and encouraged to stock up on bottled water, blankets, and riot gear.

Apparently bankers and stockbrokers really did jump during the 1929 financial crash

America has always done this right? We can’t be on the verge of total collapse and very near forced to live in communes. I think I am just finally caring to pay attention because it IS affecting me now and people I know. 

So is it really that bad?

After the dot com bust the (2002-2003) national unemployment rate was around 6.2 and according to the news, it is 6.5 as of today. Ok that sucks, we are getting and or higher than the famous bubble burst that happened just as I was graduating HSU with a Computer Information Systems degree. The irony I know.

So what about post 9/11? We are even higher. Dammie.

Reaganomics

Ok ok fine, let’s go back to that time when Reagan was president and people were walking away from their homes because they couldn’t afford their mortgage. I always heard about this from ‘older people’ but since I was happily playing Atari and eating just fine as a kid I figured it couldn’t be that bad right? Well it was. The unemployment rate in November of 1982 was a whopping 10.8 percent. It was 7.5 when Reagan entered office, some blame Carter for the mess but hey, let’s blame the guy before right?

What about Vietnam? The peak was 9.0 just as we were exiting and it went down from there until well, Reagan entered office and started his wife’s war on drugs. Republicans are cute. Them and their values. har har. Someone should make a comparison between unemployment rate vs. presidential party affiliation.

Just don’t elect Republicans for president and things will be alright, right?! Kidding. Well am I? When Kennedy entered office in 61 the unemployment rate was at 6.6. By the time Democrats lost control of the white house (post Johnson), the unemployment rate dropped to 3.4 and then tricky Dick Nixon came into control. 

Trends continue. After Nixon and later elected Ford did their thang, the unemployment rate was back up to 7.8 before Carter came in. Just to be fair, Carter didn’t really do much to change the situation, the rate was basically the same when Reagan came in. Some say Obama will be the next Carter and stands little chance to help our failing economy. But compare the two. I really doubt it.

So where’s the warmth? 

Go here http://www.miseryindex.us/urbymonth.asp, slide your scrollbar up and down and watch the rollercoaster ride. It is just another wave and we are at the peak and never had we elected such an inspiring president and Democrat. 

When that lady that dropped hot coffee in her lap and sued McDonalds, a trend was started and people learned they can get money because a precedent was made. GM is following suit after the feds bailed out a private institution. 

You give an inch. They take a mile. I personally don’t have any sympathy for car companies that finally in June 2008 decided to phase out gas guzzlers. Why should we bail out bad business decisions? 

So where’s this warmth again? Historical trends. Obama. Failing industries having to change with the time, naturally. Let’s see if I have to eat my foot.

**Since I am not an expert on let’s say, anything… here is another view on the automobile bailout. http://www.popularmechanics.com/blogs/automotive_news/4294368.html?nav=RSS20&src=syn&dom=yah_buzz&mag=pop

After arriving, we just wanted to chill

…I mean how can you not? If you had to juggle warm friendly cute smiling fun with a dude named Jeffrey, what would you choose? 

We flew into Ontario around 6 and picked up our rental car and quickly drove down to Yorba Linda to check out our hotel because after flying, nothing sounds better than a beer and that sound made after slipping in your room card. *slide and a click*. Ahhhh, now walk around the room and admire all that is yours until 12 the next day. 

Thanksgiving ‘08 with Jane in L.A. was great and in fact, traveling with Jane is about as relaxing as can be, such as rubbing your chin on a puppy or perhaps a velvet chair. mmmm smoooth. This was a relief because my family trips are chill. Let me try and explain how chill…. smoke a joint, turn on the fan, hit play on the Dark Side, and really, we just sit around and soak up the Guntle. We discuss what it was to grow up Guntle, get in trouble Guntle, and well, grow old Guntle. It is pretty simple really. The most complicated part I guess was explaining to my nieces what Jane was to them. After hearing ‘Uncle Jeff!’ I saw their eyes kind of drift to this new person and in their minds I imagined many things going on. We kept it simple. Jane was now ‘Miss Jane’ which she loved Jane felt very welcome and there was no weirdness. Shoof!

To make this easy, I can’t speak in ‘WEs’ so I will speak in the first :) 

is that a huge cartoon gun in your pocket or....

Jane and Caitlyn were a cute bunch

I am turning into my dad more and more as i get older. I hope I don't get his beer belly

Finally, Maya is my friend!

Thanksgiving part 2

Mike, Sara and Sasha Dronkers freakin drove up to Portland and visited us. I can’t say how much that meant. REally. To be honest I thought they would never get off their lazy asses and finally get out of Humboldt and see the charm the southeast Portland. Ha! kidding.

mike and i jammed. more like he did and I just pretended i was jamming

Fun at the Children's museum

Memories had:

• Whoopi Goldberg
• Thai Food
• Shake Down
• Wii Crapping out
• Rude Children (not Sashi)
• Some asshat having to ‘be a better person’ by giving us his extra third chair. Asshat. 

Now that I recollect, this might just be the best Thanksgiving yet. 

Thanks Jane

Thanks Mom, Dad, Family and Friends

Ahhhh yes, and now, pillow time

My Wii died this weekend. It lived a short life and instead of the typical sadness over death, I am quite irritated actually. No flowers for this grave.

I better find that receipt.

I forgot my wordpress admin password and was delayed for about 1 hour to post my blog tonight. This really pissed me off actually and reminded me that in today’s world, computers will have their way with you. They will flip you over, tenderize your backside until you are screaming murder. I had to go into the database and reset the password manually. I mean Cmon people! If I wasn’t so blessed technically my beloved blog would have been forgotten forever and covered in dust becuase I couldn’t remember my 1 password. Leaving thousands of eager readers to turn away, whimpering in neglect. Gosh.

OkaY! The point to this tonight was I had some fun in photoshop. Janey was tired and turned in early so I opened up photoshop and got crazy with the magnetic lasso tool Really, if you haven’t unbuttoned your shirt to play around with the photoshop magnetic lasso tool you haven’t experienced life (and for that matter, probably haven’t screamed ‘Oh Captain My Captain!’).

Ok onto the point. I just get tickled fancily when playing around with friends photos in PS and pasting their smiliing heads in historic photos or other silly creations. Anyway, tonight was that night and I would have probably made more photochops but NO I had to play around for an hour and recreate my password in the database to even get access. psshaw.

Said Photos: I love these

I planted her face on an old photo of a nurse. Lawrence Nightingale?

The original picture:

Ok so the best part about Photoshop is playing with your friends *Evil laugh*

Che. Plain and simple Che. They are both somewhat militant. Both opinonated. Both loved.

The Original:

Original Che

Run Leona Run!!!! I really couldn’t resist

Well ... cmon, the red hair

The original:

I ran out of steam and just dug up some old photochop fun from way back

Well if I look like Lance, I might as well date like Lance.